Let us fuel the kinky spark. A very simple suggestion to your partner that you would like to spice up your sex life is a good ice breaker. Believe it or not, most people are receptive to this broad suggestion, and will most likely want to hear your thoughts. Point them to the Kinky Time section on Kamorii and use it as a third person to detach yourselves from the whole notion of getting kinky. It is always easier when someone else is making the suggestions.

For starters, let’s consider a sample couple:

First let’s take the woman’s fantasy. She fantasises about leaving an opera draped a slinky black latex number with stockings, suspenders and killer heels, being escorted by a charismatic sexy Bond type character. He wears a sharp suit and ushers her into his Aston Martin before whisking her through the streets of London. He takes her to a hotel and leads her to an opulent sexy red room, tying her up whilst whispering suggestively in her ear. As he strokes and teases her, his equally attractive friend arrives unexpectedly and playfully watches the scene unfold.

Maybe this type of scenario is your thing, certainly many people who would never admit to being kinky, have lustfully read the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy. It has proven to be a popular and compelling fantasy, albeit a tad non-consensual and careless.

Some of the keywords and thoughts that could be drawn out of her fantasy are:

Excitement, Danger, Seduction, Submission, Voyeurism, Uniform, Romance, Luxury, Fear, Humiliation, Bondage, Objectification, Fancy Car, Tease & Denial, a Desire to be Taken/Captured, Surrendering Oneself, a Third Person involved, and Pushing Limits.

Now let us take the man’s fantasy, involving a woman dressed as “catwoman” in a slinky latex catsuit; whip in hand and on the run from her latest diamond heist. Dressed as “Batman”, he tracks her down, captures her and speeds her through the city streets in his batmobile with her tied up in the passenger seat. When he arrives at the bat cave, she undergoes a sexually charged interrogation by him; gadgets from his utility belt come out to play in an effort to force the information out of her, as his assistant Robin looks on.

Some of the key words and thoughts that could be drawn out of his fantasy are:

Dominance, Latex Fetish, Costumes (cosplay), Interrogation, Crime & Punishment, Action, Hero and Villain Roleplay, Verbal Humiliation, Fear, Bondage, Pain, Fancy Car, Desire to Hunt and Capture, Third Person involved, Crossing the Line, Gritty, Aggressive, Equipment and Implements.

If you have never done anything remotely kinky, then full role playing of the fantasies described above might not be the best place to start. However, it is important to remember that kinky fantasies begin as just that, and it is the details of the particular fantasy that are important when starting out.

Using the above examples as a guide, have a think about what lies behind your fantasy. It might not be so obvious at first glance, but this couple have common interests within their fantasies and these are a great foundation to build upon. Think of the key concepts that come out of your fantasies and try and identify them. Of course, if by some miracle the same concepts come out of both of you fantasies, then it is your lucky day.

Note: Some of the words in the above fantasies are in BLACK BOLD for a reason, as when indulging in “Kink” with another, the activities must be carried out in as safe a manner as possible. At no point should your partner be forced to do anything that they do not want to do and most importantly, have not consented to. If such non-consensual aspects arise as part of your fantasy then you need to be mindful that you must get consent prior to acting out or arranging these aspects. We will discuss the importance of “safe words” and “safe signs” later.